i am kind of emo today.... shits ...... busted my new year resolution yesterday..... well, i noe, my new year resolution is freaking stupid, but i am trying to fulfill it so than it will be easier for me to carry on my life.

yesterday, supposingly suppose to play with vivian and aiko bb...... SRY...... but something happened and i did not wanna go. sam also ask me to pei her to mac...... so i followed sam.......

waiting for me was alex,  wee jun, sam & faris......... i was super late...... sry...

made our own "ice cream"...... it was sick kay,.... maybe i had a weak heart but i keep feeling disgusted by it........ but was kind of fun....

left soon and was at the bus stop.... because we ( i dunno kays) made alex miss his bus, he refuse to let me cross the overhead bridge....... -.-!!!

so, i forgot who suggested to go to imm, we wanted to go, but alex cant. saw a bus coming and thought it was 186 so we held him back. but it turn out to be 105, we tried getting on it, everyone managed to, except wee jun ..... alex held her back =.=........

after a while........ we reach imm by bus!!!

walk around and saw a very nice shop, got lots of nice bracelets and necklace!!!! love it!!!!

kay...... later we stop out side of a video shop and watch transformers!!!! .....

after a while of standing there, a crowd was from round us and they were all watching transformers!!! ya!!! we are trend setters..!!! -.-

kay, went to the second floor and try the i-(something... forgot) ..... something lyk i-gallop but it moves front and side..... fun!!!!..... faris keep pressing up the speed until it was dam fast...... 

i did the first level and when i wanted it to stop, i wouldn't.... i panic lyk siao kay....... sam help me stop it :D.....

than my dad called me....

i forgot bout my little sis... i was supose to go for tution with her...... die,...... he was pissing angry ....... something must have happend before he called me..... called my sis to go by herself while i hang at imm for a while..... later i went with sam on the mrt, while faris went on 105 (there got 105 meh??) 

took a mrt back to school befor taking 105 to british council.... 

reach there 20 mins late ( my tution starts at 5:30).........

and to make it worst, i did not bring my file and note book, my teacher got angry at me..... 

(my anger building,  when school start i was already piss....)

2 1hr 40 mins pass, went back home on my dad car, my bigger sis went out with her frend right after tution, my smaller sis went to the cafe and eat after tution(again!!!) 

got pissing angry when i could not find her.....

reach back home, my dad went back for meeting( again..... hate it)

my smaller sis again irritated me...... (usual) 

but this time i was aready freaking angry , really really blasted at her.....

i promised to my self nvr to get really angry at anyone....... at lest not this serious....... life is easier if we forgive and forget. i want to have a easier life.....

my head is freaking pain...... i really fell super lost..... i want to be happy forever so i will not dull anyones life, i dont want to pull down anyone... anymore.....

. (dats is why i am hesitating when "you" ask me to join back bb)

you might think dats i am stupid..... i can always learn bb again.... pick up the skills or i am just a freaking selfish bitch that dont want to be humilated.....

but the feeling of pulling down someone is an umbearable feeling do you noe dat..... i hate dat feeling kays.... i am trying my best to pls everyone..... i am freking tired aready..... do you noe that...i hate myself.... why cant i be lyk my elder sis.... she is super good in studis..... keep getting scholarships..... got in into saint margs......  got into the second best class..... a role model...... maybe not really lyk her lar.... but something lyk her..... i hate it.... i am trying hard to improve my hand writing.... but "you"!.... you just keep critising my handwriting...... my spelling..... 

my dad also keep saying dat if my english is lyk this.... he will send me to a special school... 

is  being (some kind of defect not able to write and spell properly) causing me to be a  ""special"" person?? i hate it....

end of  mood out post. . . . . .

i just wanna say i love you guys, those dat were there for me when i am sad, depress, angry & happy =D